Delta Roadtrip: Pearl River Resort (Part 3)
Editor's note: This is the long-awaited third in a four part series on my Fourth of July roadtrip to Pearl River Resort. For those of you who are wondering where the beginning is, Part 1 can be read here and Part 2 can be read here.
The road warriors pictured before the glowing Golden Moon casino. Back row: Chris Dantone, Amber Harrell, Lee Houston, Ashley Thompson, Toni Sorrell, Thomas Gregory, Tracy McGarrh, and Andy Hackleman. Kneeling: John Stewart, Lee Hodges, and Drew Pinkston. Photo by One-Eyed Steve.
As we rolled into the spacious lobby of The Golden Moon casino, we began to feel like celebrities. We were in the nicer of the two casinos and we had just arrived in the largest vehicle in the parking lot. We even had our own chauffeur.
But one look at our swimming attire and a call across the porte-cochère from Drew to "grab his cigarettes from the bus" quickly reminded us that this wasn't the Las Vegas strip. We were indeed in Neshoba County, Mississippi. But we had come this far and we were all pretty thirsty. But not in a dehydrated sort of way.
Where Everybody Forgets Your Name
As we all bellied-up to the first bar in sight, the group quickly befriended young Jennifer, The Golden Moon's newest and most unexperienced bartender. Even though we were the only people sitting around the bar, she somehow managed to not serve us the beers and shots we had already ordered for about ten minutes.
She did, however, manage to walk by every thirty seconds to tell us how busy she was filling the waiter's trays. But as we looked around, we noticed that the waiters that came up to the bar were making their own drinks. In hindsight, Jennifer must have really wanted a lousy tip.
Nevertheless, after countless minutes of needless waiting, she finally managed to sling us our beers and pour out a round of buttery nipple shots that one of the ladies had ordered for the group. As we pounded our beverages, we soon realized that we could be drinking for free on the gambling floor. So off we went...
What's It Gonna Be...Black or Red?
A few of us went racing off to the the poker tables while the rest went to the roulette wheel. I cashed in my crisp $20 bill and lost it all within 17 nanoseconds at roulette. Feeling discouraged, I started a conversation with the nice Native American croupier spinning the roulette wheel. Her name was Cathleen and she was a proud member of the Choctaw Indian Nation.
As I sat there watching the others gambling - Tracy and Andy were both winning - I began to engage Cathleen in a friendly conversation. All was well until she asked me what was wrong with my hair. What's wrong? I was offended. I then told her about The Delta Dirt and how I was going to write mean things about her. I even wrote the web address down on a card so she could come and read the horrible things I was going to write.
Well, Cathleen, if you are reading this, this is for you: That wasn't a very nice thing to say. Not a nice thing at all.
Now feeling really down and out after having lost the rest of my money and being insulted by the roulette dealer, I was getting hungry. So, I quickly found the pit boss and asked for a complimentary buffet. Alana said that she liked our group so much that she would comp us all a buffet if we gave her our driver's licenses so she could make us all players cards. Hungrily, we all agreed.
Fireworks at Their Finest
After forfeiting our most sacred personal identifying document, the fireworks began to pop in night sky outside. We all ran out to witness the single-largest firework display I have ever seen. And I have been to Disney World. The pyrotechnics were amazing and the grand finale was off the charts. Great job, firework guys!
As we re-entered the casino, a simultaneous grumble hit all of our stomachs and we all headed for Alana's station to retrieve our licenses, players cards and free buffet tokens. We once again felt like celebrities after having been given the royal treatment with a free supper at the best buffet in town.
The Customer Is Always Wrong
But as Alana entered the last of my information in the computer, she took a long look at me and asked me my name. "Thomas Gregory," I said. "Do you have a father named Thomas?" she asked. With a short story about being the third and named after my grandfather and all she kindly let me know that my dad was a frequent gambler at The Golden Moon. Then, to add insult to injury, she looked me in the eye and called me Homer.
Seriously. As if losing all my money, being insulted by the roulette wheel spinner, and hearing snide comments being made about my family weren't enough, she had to go and call me by the wrong name. On purpose. Talk about making your costomers feel at home!
Duly insulted, I grabbed my license, card, and meal ticket and rounded-up Andy and Tracy to hit the buffet. As we joined the line for the endless trays of food, we saw what appeared to be an overflowing stack of the very same free buffet tickets we were holding. After learning that everyone gets a free buffet by signing up for a players card, we all of a sudden began to feel not so important.
Smile...You're on Tracy's Camera!
But we were still hungry and not about to let our pride get the best of our appetite. As we stood in line, Tracy noticed a man with a tall mop of 80's rockstar hair and got out her disposable camera to take a picture of it. As Andy and I cleverly posed as if she were taking our picture, Tracy snapped her picture of the man's hairdo, causing the rockstar's entire table to look up. She had been caught.
The rest of the meal was spent talking about alternate routes from our table to the dessert station without having to pass the rockstar's table, all of whom were constantly glaring in our direction. Fully satisfied that we had just eaten from the greatest buffet ever, we headed for the exit. As we left, Andy and Tracy had to use the restroom, so I agreed to wait patiently by the door.
WCW Bathroom Wrestling Champion of the World
When Andy emerged from the bathroom, the look on his face would have made you think that he had just given the right question to a true Daily Double on Jeopardy! When asked what had just gone on, he quickly informed us that he had just rubbed shoulders with Bill Goldberg of wrestling fame in the little boys room. That was our only (semi) celebrity sighting of the evening.
Once we finished, we made it back out on the gambling floor where everyone was finishing up losing all their money and looking for the next big adventure. Then, over the sea of ringing bells and whistles, the booming sound of Club Xenon's sub-par house band echoed in all our ears, beckoning our group to her halls.
Our group reached a mutual agreement. It was time for some dancing...
The road warriors pictured before the glowing Golden Moon casino. Back row: Chris Dantone, Amber Harrell, Lee Houston, Ashley Thompson, Toni Sorrell, Thomas Gregory, Tracy McGarrh, and Andy Hackleman. Kneeling: John Stewart, Lee Hodges, and Drew Pinkston. Photo by One-Eyed Steve.
As we rolled into the spacious lobby of The Golden Moon casino, we began to feel like celebrities. We were in the nicer of the two casinos and we had just arrived in the largest vehicle in the parking lot. We even had our own chauffeur.
But one look at our swimming attire and a call across the porte-cochère from Drew to "grab his cigarettes from the bus" quickly reminded us that this wasn't the Las Vegas strip. We were indeed in Neshoba County, Mississippi. But we had come this far and we were all pretty thirsty. But not in a dehydrated sort of way.
Where Everybody Forgets Your Name
As we all bellied-up to the first bar in sight, the group quickly befriended young Jennifer, The Golden Moon's newest and most unexperienced bartender. Even though we were the only people sitting around the bar, she somehow managed to not serve us the beers and shots we had already ordered for about ten minutes.
She did, however, manage to walk by every thirty seconds to tell us how busy she was filling the waiter's trays. But as we looked around, we noticed that the waiters that came up to the bar were making their own drinks. In hindsight, Jennifer must have really wanted a lousy tip.
Nevertheless, after countless minutes of needless waiting, she finally managed to sling us our beers and pour out a round of buttery nipple shots that one of the ladies had ordered for the group. As we pounded our beverages, we soon realized that we could be drinking for free on the gambling floor. So off we went...
What's It Gonna Be...Black or Red?
A few of us went racing off to the the poker tables while the rest went to the roulette wheel. I cashed in my crisp $20 bill and lost it all within 17 nanoseconds at roulette. Feeling discouraged, I started a conversation with the nice Native American croupier spinning the roulette wheel. Her name was Cathleen and she was a proud member of the Choctaw Indian Nation.
As I sat there watching the others gambling - Tracy and Andy were both winning - I began to engage Cathleen in a friendly conversation. All was well until she asked me what was wrong with my hair. What's wrong? I was offended. I then told her about The Delta Dirt and how I was going to write mean things about her. I even wrote the web address down on a card so she could come and read the horrible things I was going to write.
Well, Cathleen, if you are reading this, this is for you: That wasn't a very nice thing to say. Not a nice thing at all.
Now feeling really down and out after having lost the rest of my money and being insulted by the roulette dealer, I was getting hungry. So, I quickly found the pit boss and asked for a complimentary buffet. Alana said that she liked our group so much that she would comp us all a buffet if we gave her our driver's licenses so she could make us all players cards. Hungrily, we all agreed.
Fireworks at Their Finest
After forfeiting our most sacred personal identifying document, the fireworks began to pop in night sky outside. We all ran out to witness the single-largest firework display I have ever seen. And I have been to Disney World. The pyrotechnics were amazing and the grand finale was off the charts. Great job, firework guys!
As we re-entered the casino, a simultaneous grumble hit all of our stomachs and we all headed for Alana's station to retrieve our licenses, players cards and free buffet tokens. We once again felt like celebrities after having been given the royal treatment with a free supper at the best buffet in town.
The Customer Is Always Wrong
But as Alana entered the last of my information in the computer, she took a long look at me and asked me my name. "Thomas Gregory," I said. "Do you have a father named Thomas?" she asked. With a short story about being the third and named after my grandfather and all she kindly let me know that my dad was a frequent gambler at The Golden Moon. Then, to add insult to injury, she looked me in the eye and called me Homer.
Seriously. As if losing all my money, being insulted by the roulette wheel spinner, and hearing snide comments being made about my family weren't enough, she had to go and call me by the wrong name. On purpose. Talk about making your costomers feel at home!
Duly insulted, I grabbed my license, card, and meal ticket and rounded-up Andy and Tracy to hit the buffet. As we joined the line for the endless trays of food, we saw what appeared to be an overflowing stack of the very same free buffet tickets we were holding. After learning that everyone gets a free buffet by signing up for a players card, we all of a sudden began to feel not so important.
Smile...You're on Tracy's Camera!
But we were still hungry and not about to let our pride get the best of our appetite. As we stood in line, Tracy noticed a man with a tall mop of 80's rockstar hair and got out her disposable camera to take a picture of it. As Andy and I cleverly posed as if she were taking our picture, Tracy snapped her picture of the man's hairdo, causing the rockstar's entire table to look up. She had been caught.
The rest of the meal was spent talking about alternate routes from our table to the dessert station without having to pass the rockstar's table, all of whom were constantly glaring in our direction. Fully satisfied that we had just eaten from the greatest buffet ever, we headed for the exit. As we left, Andy and Tracy had to use the restroom, so I agreed to wait patiently by the door.
WCW Bathroom Wrestling Champion of the World
When Andy emerged from the bathroom, the look on his face would have made you think that he had just given the right question to a true Daily Double on Jeopardy! When asked what had just gone on, he quickly informed us that he had just rubbed shoulders with Bill Goldberg of wrestling fame in the little boys room. That was our only (semi) celebrity sighting of the evening.
Once we finished, we made it back out on the gambling floor where everyone was finishing up losing all their money and looking for the next big adventure. Then, over the sea of ringing bells and whistles, the booming sound of Club Xenon's sub-par house band echoed in all our ears, beckoning our group to her halls.
Our group reached a mutual agreement. It was time for some dancing...
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