On Catching the Garter

At the weekend wedding of my college friends, Craft Tyler and Lauren Freeman, I supposedly sealed my fate in a moment that every bachelor fears. It was over before I knew what had happened, but at the end of the ceremonial act, I was holding the bride's garter.

And while this action apparently confirms that I am the next to be married in my group of friends, I would like to discuss and hopefully disprove this age-old urban legend.

A little background information: The wedding ritual dates to the 14th century, a time when women wore hose attached by a garter belt. Catching the garter (thrown by the groom) was a chance for the single men to share in the good fortune of the groom. Today, it is believed that the man who catches the garter will be the next to marry.

My first inclination to believe that there is still hope for me yet comes with the realization of why I caught the damn thing in the first place. Was it because the fates around me led my buddy Craft to send it flying directly into my hand? Hopefully not.

As pointed out to me by fellow-bachelor and wedding crasher extraordinaire Wes Poole, I caught the garter because I am tall. It only made sense that of all the hands that were reaching for the soaring circle, mine was the closest by several inches.

Another reason to assume that this 'old wives tale' is just that is through a careful examination of the makeup of the crowd. There were probably twenty guys vying for the opportunity to catch Mrs. Freeman-Tyler's garter. This was a big wedding and their reception offered an open bar (see related story).

Of the twenty, many were in commited relationships. At least one or two of them were engaged to be married. How could the legend's consequences possibly hold true if I don't even have a girlfriend?

But for all the bad press I am giving to garter-catchers everywhere, I can offer this bit of praise: Having caught the garter last night made me the 'man of the hour,' if only for a brief moment in time. And wearing it around my coat sleeve all night made for an easy conversation starter with all the lovely bridesmaids.

So, for every negative that accompanies catching the garter, I guess there is a positive. Now to find the girl I am going to marry... Applications can be emailed to thomas@thedeltadirt.com. Please include a recent photograph.

Comments

A. Telle said…
I caught the garter at the Wolfe-Clark ceremony last summer. Nothing.
6:11 PM
Thomas Gregory said…
This is looking to be more depressing than I thought...
12:45 PM
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